I was hanging out with my brother-in-law and our two nephews. We were just minding our own business, sitting in a parking lot behind the Safeway, when a cruiser pulls around the side of the building and shines its spotlight right in my face. I don't play, so I started getting out of the truck, but the cop yelled over his PA to stay in the truck. I put my arms straight out to the side in a Christ pose and said, "What?"
Jessie, one of the kids in the backseat of the truck, started crying so I got back in to see what was up and to try to calm him down before his make-up started running. At this point, I should take you back a little bit to explain why we were behind the Safeway.
My bro-in-law got a call from some wetbacks he is friendly with, saying that they had a few grams of meth that they wanted to sell. Probably needed the money because it is the end of the month and their wellfare has all run out. So I told my bro I was in and had the cash, as always. We were supposed to meet them behind the Safeway at 10:00, but first we had to pick our two nephews who were supposed to be at a friend's sleep-over, but got kicked out by the friend's parents for being too rough or something. They called their mom, my hot sister, and we agreed to pick them up on the way.
Now I have to tell you a little something first about my nephews. They are hardcore just like their uncle Panemon. They get kicked out of school for fighting at least once a month and they are only 10 and 11 years old. They aren't allowed to even ride the bus anymore and frequently have to hitchhike to their elementary school because my sister lost her license on her last DUI. These little fuckers also have smoked up meth a couple times with me and their father before, but their mother doesn't like that much. Another thing is, they are juggalos and I got them into that shit. It is cool and they often wear the make-up and are down with the clown for life.
Upon picking them up, we saw that they had the make-up on and were sitting on the front steps waiting for us. I walk up the walkway and they meet me halfway, happy as hell to see uncle Pan. That is when I see this old, crusty bitch looking out at me from behind the curtains. So I decided to give her something to look at and pulled out my eight incher and started shaking it in her direction. My nephews thought this was hilarious and they followed my example. I noticed that they were well on their way to being as endowed and manly as their uncle.
So anyway, I got back in the truck and laid a strip on their lawn, compliments of my sweet ride. We drove down to the Safeway and scored the meth from those Mexicans no problem. When they saw me, they knew not to try any of their Mexican tricks and just made the deal and left. We decided to hang a bit since the weather was nice and sample a little of the product before going home. I wanted to give my nephews a taste without my sister finding out. We all hit that shit and it was pretty good for Mexican stuff. I have made much better in my time, but I haven't been around a lab lately because of all the time taken up with training for my new job.
James, the youngest, started getting all weird in the backseat, scratching all over and saying there were ants on him. I told him he was spun and to just shut up and enjoy the high. He kept freaking out saying he saw demons and shit, so I dragged him from the back and sat him on my lap. I noticed that his make-up was applied in a fashion similar to my own when I wear it for concerts and juicers.
Anyway, back to the cops. I am too smart for them because I had hid away all the paraphenalia and meth before they got to my window. They tried to get me to subject to a search. but I told them no. They didn't like that I was firmly in control of the situation. They started asking all kinds of questions about why we have two young boys in the car and why one of them is crying and scratching all over. I told them to mind their own fucking business and that is when they started getting aggressive. They got me and my bro out of the truck and started searching it. They found my shit under the seat and took my nephews into the back of their cruiser. My bro and I got read our rights and taken down to the station. The cops found out that the kids were high and now they are both in
Colorado Child Protection Services and my sister is pissed off.
I already have a lawyer who is a friend of the family and will handle this shit for free. He says they have no case against me. I am going to end up suing and owning half of this town and then we will see who has the last laugh.
You fucks on this board will probably try to make fun of me because you obviously don't know how to live life. I laugh my ass off at every stupid response you board warriors make because I know I owned every one of you back in 1998 when UO was still good.
