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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,032
Lord of ^^
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OP
Lord of ^^
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,032 |
Quote:
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on
business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy
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Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
anyone heard of this website before? Fuckmylife? a huge collection of fucked up experiences from people...most are just plain hilarious...
http://www.fmylife.com/top?page=1
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,825
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,825 |
Quote:
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,032
Lord of ^^
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OP
Lord of ^^
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,032 |
Quote:
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,491
Lord of Canucks
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Lord of Canucks
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,491 |
Quote:
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,351
LoD Groupie w/ privileges
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LoD Groupie w/ privileges
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,351 |
Quote:
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
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Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML
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Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I'm constipated.... I couldn't give a shit.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 598
LoD Groupie
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LoD Groupie
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 598 |
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,491
Lord of Canucks
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Lord of Canucks
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,491 |
Quote:
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
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Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,813
Adept - Inactive
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Adept - Inactive
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,813 |
GG. This shit is better than bash.org .
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,195
Initiate
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Initiate
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,195 |
Fml has been the source of many laughs for me. I remember one from a few months ago that was pretty good.
"Today in the break room I thought I needed to pass gas...so i did. Turns out it was projectile diarrhea, and I was wearing a skirt. FML" Have to love all the poor souls willing to share their pain in exchange for our laughter.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,214
Lord
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Lord
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,214 |
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0 members (),
42
guests, and
3
robots. |
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Key:
Admin,
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