"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
<br>- Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense
<br>"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
<br>-- Jacques Chirac, President of France
<br>"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
<br>-- Rush Limbaugh
<br>"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
<br>-- Argus Hamilton
<br>"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
<br>advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
<br>-- Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
<br>"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
<br>-- Dennis Miller
<br>"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
<br>-- Dennis Miller
<br>Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.
<br>"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates
<br>Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
<br>-- Conan O'Brien
<br>"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."
<br>-- Jay Leno
<br>Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
<br>A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
<br> "The last time the French ask for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
<br>-- David Letterman
<br>"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
<br>-- Rep. R. Blount (MO)
<br>"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
<br>-- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv <br><br>